Makeshift Superheroes
by blue sakuras
Summary: A stripper. A drug dealer. A 'lady of the night'. A hitman. A doctor. The five that will save the world. Without knowing it. InuXKag MirXSan SessXKagura
1. The Money

AN: Rated for the content - vulgar language, suggestive themes, and pyschological warping.

* * *

Miroku walked up to his doorway, and pulled out his keys while whistling merrily. It had been a good day indeed. Fifteen customers total. 

It wasn't the most he ever had in one day, but the amount they bought was simply shocking.

Oh well. He got cash. No questions, fast service, good money.

It helped that he had ripped each customer off by... about 50 percent?

As he bent down to retrieve the mail that had been dropped through the slot of his old, scratched up door, Miroku's eyes widened as he pulled out a piece of paper from a thick envelope...

As it fluttered to the ground, Miroku grabbed at the air to catch it. He finally felt what he reached for and stood back up. Eyes widened, his hand shook slightly as he lifted it up into the apartment's light, as if trying to determine if the 100,000,000 dollar check was real or not.

**Makeshift Superheroes**

**Prologue**

**The Money**

Miroku got up and paced. He walked to the sink and got out a glass from the cabinet to his right. Filling it with water, Miroku failed to realize that his cup had overfilled and was spilling all over his hand. He was too busy staring at the table in his kitchen. More specifically, a piece of paper... a check...

"Aw damn it!" he groaned as he realized that the water was spilling. "Who the HELL would give me a check like that? Do they want some drugs? WHAT?" Miroku yelled at the ceiling, as if expecting an answer.

He got one. "SHUT UP! It's THREE in the morning Miroku! Get some sleep and rant to yourself at a DECENT hour!" an old, hoarse voice yelled at him. Miroku winced.

"Sorry Mrs. Winston! I'll keep it down!" he looked apologetically at the ceiling, even though the old lady couldn't possibly see him. Well...at least he hoped not.

"I really should stop talking to myself..." he muttered as he went to the counter to get a towel to wipe his hands with. Taking off the black gloves he always wore, Miroku sighed. And remembered that packet that he had taken the check from.

He turned and stared for a second before he leapt at the thick, white envelope that lay neglected and had been hastily tossed onto the coffee table by him just about a half hour ago. There must be at least something in here that would tell him something about this check!

Gently, Miroku pulled out the contents of the envelope and stared. In his hands were four files. Opening each and scanning the first page, Miroku realized that it was an overview of four separate people. But the names or faces didn't seem familiar to him, so he set those aside for later. Reaching his hand into the envelope again, he felt a hard case.

Sliding it out, Miroku realized that it was a CD. He took it out of the case hurriedly and ran over to his DVD player.

As he pressed the play button, his palms were sweaty and he dropped the remote. He took no notice of that as the fuzz of the screen was replaced with someone's face.

Too bad it was wearing a mask. As the person spoke to the camera, Miroku realized that the soft voice must be of a woman's.

"I see that you have received the check, Mr. Houshi. Please take that as a... payment before the mission is carried out."

"Mission?" Miroku frowned.

"Please take note of what I say to you, Mr. Houshi. Take notes. This CD will not be in condition to watch over again." Miroku got up and ran to get some paper and a pen.

_Better to be safe than sorry._ The face paused, as if she knew he was going to do that. "Back? Good. Now let me begin. I need help." Miroku scoffed.

"I noticed."

"... and you are the one person left that I can trust. Be aware of the four files that I have given you. Those are the only others you should trust. No one else shall know of this, understood?"

Miroku had taken note of this. Very well...

In fact, it said on his paper

_Insane woman says tell no one. PARANOIA. Only four others._

"... now I understand this must be strange for you, but you MUST succeed. Those four files are the others that you shall have to find and explain to them the situation. Don't worry about the rest. You just focus on finding these people. I shall give you one week, and then I shall alert you of the rest of this task. Tell NO ONE." And with that, the screen fizzled out into a fuzz.

Miroku arched his eyebrows and looked down at his paper. "O... kay... some notes that was..."

Deciding he should keep the tape for evidence if he went to file a restraining order, Miroku got off the couch and walked over to the player, pressing the eject button. As the small support slid out with the CD on it, Miroku's eyes widened.

She wasn't kidding about the state it would be in. Miroku grabbed the towel that was laying on the table next to him and wrapped it around his hand. He gingerly picked up the smoking CD and went to the kitchen to put it into a Ziploc baggie. Couldn't be too careful now.

After hiding the disk in a safe place in his apartment, Miroku went back to look over the files. The first one he picked up was a woman. Sliding his finger down, Miroku read the facts out loud.

"Hm... interesting... Lesse... Twenty years old... Live in an apartment... hey! That place isn't far from here!... siblings... deceased? Ouch. Hm... Profession." The next couple of words caused Miroku to open and close his mouth in the air, resembling a fish.

"Well..." he muttered while straighting himself up. "That's a profession that would be fun."

Picking up the picture, Miroku read the name of her at the bottom. She was rather pretty. Her long, black hair with brown higlights framed her hair and gave her an elegant appearance. Her eyes were soulful and murky brown, full of life. But what set him off was the scowl she had on her face. It totally threw off the elegant, mysterious look that she had.

"Well... Sango Ishinaga... I'll wipe that scowl off your face soon enough..."

Miroku paused in his musings. "Then again... if I were a hitman... I wouldn't be grinning all the time..."

"HEY! MIROKU! TOO EARLY!" Miroku grimaced.

"Sorry! Sorry!"

He sighed and walked towards his bedroom. "Better get some sleep... in for a busy day tomorrow!"

* * *


	2. The Killer

**Makeshift Superheroes**

**Chapter One**

**The Killer**

As Miroku walked up to the doorway and looked at the engraved symbols on the doorway, he smirked. Running a hand through his hair, he gave himself a little pep talk before meeting this Sango woman.

As he knocked on the door, his hand barely had time to withdraw and smooth over his hair one more time before it creaked open slightly.

A face peered from the thin crack and a stream of light fell onto their face, illuminating a boy's face. He didn't look a day over thirteen. Miroku frowned. There wasn't any person listed that was sharing the apartment with her...

"What do you want?" the boy spoke. Miroku was startled by the boy's deep voice. It sounded more like an adult's. Miroku's face cracked into a big grin. Better be cautious...

"I'm looking for Sango Ishinaga?" he asked in an innocent voice. That voice had bought him so many customers... too many... for Miroku had lost track of the exact number...

"Why?" the boy's voice had an edge to it now. He was suspicious... "How do you know her?"

How should he answer? The file hadn't told him of this young boy and how to deal with him...

Miroku decided to improvise and sighed while shaking his head, smiling, as what he knew looked pitiful. "Children your age should not hear of how I know the Lady Sango."

The boy's eyes widened noticeably, and Miroku took note of this. However, he kept his smile going.

"I-I'll go see if she's... she's home ..." he spluttered, quickly closing the door. Miroku, leaning against the wooden door, could hear the pattering of his feet against the wood and the creaking of a door.

Then he heard the low mutterings of voices. Too bad his hearing wasn't good enough to hear exactly what they were saying.

Miroku straightened up away from the door as he heard the quick pattering of feet and brushing at his jacket sleeve. The boy's face reappeared at the crack of the door.

"My sister isn't here right now. Go away." Miroku frowned. Hadn't that file said...

"I could've sworn she told me she'd be in today..." Miroku tapped his chin, thinking thoughtfully. The boy's face widened in some sort of realization and quickly slammed the door shut, only to reopen it widely, the chain unlocked.

"She's been waiting for you!" he exclaimed happily. "Why didn't you come yesterday? And why was there an ambush? Were you hurt? Did you get away alright? Of course you got away alright! You're standing here right now aren't you?"

Miroku frowned, but quickly covered up his confusion. "Just get me Sango first kid. I don't want to tell you anything she wouldn't want you to know or something like that."

The boy frowned but obeyed.

Walking into the corridor that led to rooms, the boy disappeared in the first one on the left, only to have a girl come out of it, the boy supporting her. It was Sango.

Miroku's eyes widened as he tried to stare without being so obvious. Sango leaned down and whispered something to the boy, who nodded and left for the room on the right. He didn't come back out.

Sango walked over to the couch where Miroku stood next to and sat down on the opposing chair. He noticed that she was limping slightly on her right leg.

She motioned for Miroku to sit and he obliged. When he appeared comfortable enough, she began to speak. "I know you aren't the man that Kohaku thinks you are, so leave."

"W-what?" the bluntness of her request and the tone of voice she spoke in startled Miroku to no end.

"Leave. Get out. Never let me see you again. I won't be so kind next time." Sango replied in a nonchalant tone. She glared at him as if he was slow on the uptake.

Miroku was astonished that she was so blunt. Surely a person who was a hired hit man would have more of a smooth talking ability?

... Then again... their jobs never required much talking...

"But you haven't even heard why I'm here!" Miroku protested.

Sango gave him a glare. After thinking it over for a few seconds, she sighed and ran her hand through her hair before replying, "Fine, then what is it?"

He ran his hand through his hair again. For him, it wasn't just something to do; it was a nervous habit. "Well see... yesterday when I got home, I received this envelope." Raising the envelope in his hand to show her, Miroku watched her face carefully. She still seemed disinterested.

"And I got these files... of four people. There was a disc, but that is sort of unavailable right now." When she leaned forward in her chair Miroku knew she was listening.

"Where's the disc?...ohhh." She breathed out as Miroku raised the disc that had been burned black in the ziploc baggie.

"And it told me that I shouldn't trust anyone except for you, and three others." Sango nodded, but arched her eyebrows. "I'll get to that in a moment, but the fact is, if we want the money that this person sent us, then we'll have to do as they say."

Miroku pulled out his wallet and took out the check carefully and handed it to Sango, who took it and immediately began to examine it.

"This is odd." She exclaimed after examining it for a while. Miroku had begun to get testy and was fidgeting in his seat a little.

"What is it?" Miroku got up and placed himself on the arm of the chair she was sitting on.

She held the slip of paper to the light and motioned for him to get to her level. He did so quickly and gasped as she pointed out something on that small piece of paper.

"What... the HELL?" he snapped. "I feel like an idiot." Miroku got up and slammed him fist onto the coffee table next to him.

"Hey! Watch it!" Sango snapped at him. "Don't damage anything!" Miroku immediately apologized.

There was an awkward pause after this, but it didn't last long, as Kohaku flew into the room, and whispered. "Sis! There's someone... someone at your window, trying to break in!"

Sango immediately shot up from her chair and ran after Kohaku. It was only a second later that Miroku followed, trying to keep quiet.

He noticed how they both made no noise while moving about. Something that really puzzled him was... if the check was fake... were the files made up as well? The file had said that her sibling was deceased... but there he was, with her... it must be a lie.

Miroku was tempted to slap himself on the head, but thought the noise might draw the attention of the person trying to break in.

When he reached the door of the room that Sango and Kohaku had disappeared into, he hesitated in opening the door... perhaps he would just be in the way...?

Hearing a loud crash, he quickly made up him mind and burst into the room. What he saw before him shocked him...

Sango was sprawled across the ground, apparently unconscious, and there... in front of her... stood Kohaku, with a dull look in his eyes. "What are you doing?" Miroku cried out, stepping between him and Sango, as if to shield her.

Kohaku looked at Miroku, his head tilted to the side, as if he himself had no idea of what was going on. "I-I don't know..." he mumbled. And then he disappeared.

Miroku gaped and then went directly to the spot Kohaku was just at. "If this is a fuckin' game kid, it's NOT funny." He snarled, turning round and round on the same spot, trying to figure out how the kid had just disappeared like that.

"Don't... just...just... he's gone." Sango spoke hoarsely from her position from the ground. She had already begun to try and get up, but that was obviously painful for her, the evidence on her face as she screwed it up with concentration.

"Don't strain yourself. Let me help." Miroku rushed over and slowly helped her up. Seeing that standing would be impossible for her if he weren't supporting her, he quickly picked her up in the bridal fashion and put her on the bed in that room.

"Thanks." Sango muttered as the redness in her cheeks dimmed down a bit after being carried by Miroku. "You can leave now if you wish."

Miroku, who had knelt down onto the wooden floor, was tapping the floorboards, for anything loose that Kohaku might have been hiding under. He didn't acknowledge the fact that Sango had spoken. He was too absorbed in finding how Kohaku had just... vanished.

"Um... hey! You! Are you even listening to me?" Sango asked as she arched her eyebrows skeptically.

Miroku looked up. "I DO have a name you know. And surprise surprise, it doesn't begin with a Y."

"Well, then what is it?" Miroku looked at her and grinned.

"Miroku, but you can call me Master."

Sango rolled her eyes as she watched him go over the boards meticulously. After a good hour, he got up, wincing as a loud crack filled the room. "Oufh... Ow. That can NOT be good for my spinal cord." Miroku winced slightly as he stretched his back out.

Sango waited until he was finished. "What were you doing?"

Miroku looked at her in disbelief. "Were you momentarily BLIND when that kid just disappeared into thin air?" Sango looked away and bit her lip.

"No." she answered quietly. "And I think you should leave. Now."

When Miroku tried to get her to change her mind, Sango only glared coldly at him and told him to leave. "What about the person who sent me the check? He or she also gave me four files. In yours, it had your address, your name, everything! But I just want to clear this up. It said on the sheet that your sibling was deceased. But that was your little brother wasn't it?" Sango gave no inclination that she was listening. But Miroku continued. "It also said you were a hit man. Or woman. Whatever, but the thing is, IF it's true, then how does this person know all this junk?"

"Because I have an idea of who it is. Do what the CD told you to do, and then come back." Miroku gaped at the woman who was staring forlornly at the wall.

"How come you didn't say anything?"

"Because I'm not supposed to." She looked at him for the first time since he had placed her on the bed. He was startled to see tears in her eyes.

"I won't. And until then, neither of us will be safe."

"That is true. Give me a day to rest and come back tomorrow at 11 AM. We will work on the others then." When Miroku opened his mouth to protest, Sango held her hand up to silence him. "The less I know the better. I have too many enemies to have this information when I'm practically helpless."

Miroku nodded. "Then it's settled. But one more thing..."

Sango arched an eyebrow skeptically at the man. He smiled and walked up to Sango and knelt down on one knee, grasping her hand. "Will you bear my child?"

Things happened in fast motion...

First, Sango narrowed her eyes. Second, Miroku's other hand made its way to her...

Third, Sango shrieked when the hand reached its destination.

Fourth, Sango hit Miroku.

Hard.

Miroku got up and walked out of the room in a rather dazed manner. "Eleven tomorrow! Remember!" Sango called out, but sighed, as she heard no reply.

"Best get to cleaning then..." as she looked down distastefully at the things scattered about her room.

Miroku rolled his eyes and stretched out on his bed as he laid three files on the wooden floor below him. He laid Sango's file next to him and went back to gazing at the rest on the floor. "Okay," he said, cracking his knuckles, "now... for the next person we track down..."

"Eenie... Meenie.. Minie... Mo... Catch... a... tiger... by... the... toe... if... he... moans... then... you... really... should...just...run...and... remember...to...let...go!" Miroku grinned and picked up the last one he pointed to.

Flipping open the file, he scanned through the medical documents and everything else, looking for the summary sheet. Finding it at the back of the folder, Miroku pulled it out and grinned. "Hello hot babe!" Miroku wolf- whistled as he checked out the features on the woman. Red, narrowed eyes... raven black hair tied up in a messy bun... and her ears...

...they couldn't be human. Miroku blinked and held the picture closer to his face. "They're real..." he mumbled in amazement. "Or she had a REALLY good plastic surgeon..."

Setting the picture aside, Miroku picked up the information sheet and read through it quickly. "Name... Kagura Kaze... age... whoa... I thought she was younger than that! 31... sheesh... she takes really good care of herself... she lives... holy shit! How are we supposed to find someone who's housing is 'unknown'?" Miroku moaned and slapped himself on the head. "Her profession... okay." Miroku smirked. "It's okay. At least now I know WHY her housing is unlisted. But... it'll take awhile to find her then..."

Sighing, he stuffed everything back into her file and tossed it onto the ground, along with Sango's folder. Rolling over, he turned off his light and went to sleep.


	3. The Lady

Miroku whistled as he walked up to Sango's doorway. He slicked back his hair and checked himself in the little reflection of himself in the spy hole of the door.

"Are you always this vain?" an irritated voice snapped behind him. Miroku spun around, his eyes widened with surprise. However, they softened and he grinned as he realized who was behind him.

"AH! Sango! How good it is to see you up and about!" He grinned cheerily, but wavered slightly when he saw her menacing glare. "What delightful timing!"

"For you maybe," she growled in response. He grinned again and held his arms out to receive a hug, but was surprised to have a big brown paper bag shoved into his embrace instead. "Help me with this stuff, then we can go."

"All righty! We're a takin' in the groceries, a takin' in the groceries!" he sang, making Sango twitch. As they entered her apartment, Sango slammed the door shut with her foot and quickly put her bags down to lock the door.

Miroku whistled in amazement. "Wow...do you think it's really necessary to have all those locks...?"

Sango straightened and got her bags. "In my line of work, it is."

"Ah...yes, about that." Miroku put the bag down gently on the wooden coffee table and cleared his throat. "The next one we are about to seek...well, let's just say it would be better for me to find her myself and then come back here to discuss things."

Sango raised an eyebrow and motioned for him to pick up his bag and follow her. He did so obligingly and they entered what appeared to be the kitchen. "Okay, why? Is she like not supposed to be around women or something? Or," Sango inquired with a sarcastic tone, "is she like a prostitute or something?"

Miroku grinned nervously underneath his cheery expression. "Actually, that's right on the money."

"WHAT!" Sango slammed her fist onto the counter. "Are you joking or what? Because THIS ISN'T FUNNY!"

Miroku held up his hands in a peaceful gesture. "No, I'm not. Here's her file. I've read over it last night and I'm going out to find her. It tells me where she usually wanders around. And she's usually there all day, so if I don't find her soon and pick her up... someone else will. Not that it's with any perverted motives or anything," Miroku added in a rush.

Sango arched an eyebrow. "All right, but call me every half hour and give me an update."

Miroku nodded. "But...I'll need your number to do that."

Sango hesitated. "Fine." She grabbed a pen and a piece of scrap paper and scribbled the number down, tossing it to him as she began to open the brown bags.

**Makeshift Superheroes**

**Chapter Two**

**The Lady**

Kagura sighed and stepped out into the sun, sliding on her sunglasses as she did so. She wasn't wearing her usual 'work' clothes, since she decided to give herself a day off, the previous night having bought her enough money to last for seven months. Still, she would continue tomorrow and continue building up on that small fortune she had stored away...

There was nothing that was going to stop her from living her life in paradise once she had enough money, and she was sure as hell making her way to it quickly.

She strode down the street, confident that her usual customers wouldn't recognize her in a black poncho with jeans. She tilted her head back, smiling slightly at the feel of the sun on her face. She couldn't usually enjoy the day like this, so she was going to enjoy this if it killed her. And the tap on her should almost did.

"What the hell are you trying to pull?" she hissed and turned to glare at the person who had interrupted her thoughts before remembering she had sunglasses on and pulled them up so they were on top of her head. The man before her grinned, and began talking.

"Ms. Kaze, I expect?" he asked with a tone that was irritating the hell out of Kagura, noticing his eyes slide over her form with what he had hoped was a casual look.

"I'm sorry, you must be mistaken," Kagura quickly replied. To hell with him... she wasn't going to do anything to anyone today.

What the hell was she trying to pull? "Oh... but..." Miroku fumbled quickly through his head, remembering what the file had said.

_...if she will not agree to this, then mention Kanna._

...who was Kanna? Nevertheless, Miroku took a chance on it. "It was concerning Kanna, Ms. Kaze, so I thought you would just like to know... but if you do not feel up to it, by all means..." and he bowed and turned, walking away at a leisurely pace.

Kagura bit her lip... Kanna! He knows where Kanna is? Should I...? "Wait!" she called after him, jogging a little to catch up with him. "What do you know about her?"

Miroku quickly made up a plan. "Well... I don't think here is the best place to discuss something like this..."

Kagura looked at him skeptically and arched an eyebrow. "Well, where do you think we should go...?"

"Apartment. Don't worry... I won't try anything funny. It's just that my lady friend is there and I can tell you there. She has a very good security system."

Kagura hesitated and then nodded slowly. "Is it far from here?"

Miroku shook his head, looked up at the clock on the hotel, and then blanched.

"One second! I have to make a call really quick!" Miroku clumsily got out a cell phone from his pocket and dialed a number. "Hey! Sorry! Well, let's just say I've got the goods."

Kagura looked at him when a voice shouted through the phone. "THAT BETTER NOT HAVE ANYTHING SAID BETWEEN THE LINES, YOU PERV – "and Miroku slapped the cell phone shut and slid it back into his pocket.

"Let's go this way shall we...?" he tittered. Kagura slanted her eyes but nodded and followed.

After a few turns and angered people because of Miroku's 'clumsiness', they reached Sango's apartment complex and headed for her apartment. Miroku reached it, gave Kagura a charming smile, to which she glared pointedly at him in return, and knocked on the wood three times. The door opened, after the sounds of many chains and links and locks being turned.

"Sango! This is Kagura! Let's go in now, shall we?" and Miroku ushered in Kagura, who hesitated a second before stepping into the room. Sango led them back to the living room, where Miroku had been in the day before. Everyone sat down and Sango gave Kagura a cup of coffee, as well as Miroku and herself.

"So... isn't this fun?" Miroku asked after a few minutes of silence. Both women looked at him sharply and continued to gaze at him expectantly. "So... I'm assuming I should begin?"

"Yes. That would be nice," Kagura answered frostily. "If this is just some shit you are pulling just to get me into bed, you better be paying me a lot of money asswipe," she growled.

Miroku chuckled. "We were sent to retrieve you!"

Kagura blinked.

Sango turned and faced Miroku.

Sango blinked.

Miroku blinked back at both women. "What?"

"...retrieve? Can't you finish that? Like the CD! LIKE THE FILES!" Sango fumed.

"Oh. Yeah. I should, shouldn't I?"

"You better do that."

"You two better fucking tell me what the hell is going on RIGHT NOW," Kagura seethed. "If this is some stupid plot that Naraku is doing just to get me, I swear I will – "

"You know Naraku too!" Sango gasped.

"Yes. Bit of a weirdo, if you get my meaning."

"Yeah," Sango nodded, "he is a bit off isn't he?"

"Oh yeah. I would love it if you guys would TELL ME WHO THE HELL he is!" Miroku sniffed indignantly, a bit put off that he was being excluded.

"This dude. He's the one I mentioned that might be doing all this." Sango shrugged nonchalantly. She noticed Kagura put her cup down. "More coffee?" Kagura nodded.

"Okay. Okay. Deep breathes now... no ONE FREAK OUT!" Miroku twitched. "How are you two taking this with such... such..."

"Calmness?"

"Grace?"

"More like apathy! Hello! This guy has offered us an unbelievable amount of money – "

"It is unbelievable. That check is fake."

"– and he wants us – "

"Really it's just you."

"– to get two more freakin' people that we don't even know!"

"Well, I might know someone. Kagura here might now someone. Done with your rant?" Sango inquired, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Well, since you're interrupting so much, why not!"

Sango cleared her throat and filled Kagura in on the details. Afterwards, the older lady nodded. "Yeah, this seems like something that Naraku would plan, doesn't it...?"

"So... let's see. There's a hit woman and there's a prostitute, no offense."

"None taken."

"So... what can we do?" Sango turned her head expectantly towards Miroku. "So what is it that you do anyway?"

Miroku either got drunk on the coffee or he was blushing. "Err... well... that is..."

Sango scoffed, "It can't be as bad as either of us." Kagura nodded. Miroku rolled his eyes and blurted it out.

"Drug dealer."

Kagura, who had taken a sip of coffee at that moment, spit it all out onto the table. Sango snorted.

"S-sorry about that table..." Kagura choked on her drink. Sango waved her hand, the other one clasped firmly around her mouth, but her shaking upper body was enough to show that she was laughing her ass off.

"Thank you. What's so funny anyway?" Miroku grouched in irritation. "Besides, we still need to find two others."

After the two calmed down, which took some time, Kagura spoke. "So, how much money was offered?"

Miroku grimaced. "More than what the world can possibly have if everyone took all their money and stuck it all together in a bank account... I do say it would interest you greatly."

Sango shook her head. "If this is really Naraku, then he'll probably give us something when we complete what he wants us to do. Besides, Miroku, don't forget. You thought it was real."

"So... how do you know this Naraku character anyway, Sango dearest?"

Sango scowled. "Don't call me that. And it's confidential."

"He hired you to kill someone."

"He was running for governor."

"...but... what?" Miroku scratched his head. "I've watched all the campaigns. No one by the name of Naraku ran for governor of New York..."

"Well, it's not his real name, IS IT smart ass?" Kagura rolled her eyes. "You're an idiot."

"Well, you seem to have such a nice vocabulary for such an elderly age," Miroku shot back. He was always a little snappish when his intelligence came into question.

"Oh shut – "

"No arguing! We have to find the other two! Miroku, did you bring the files?"

Miroku nodded and grabbed his briefcase, at which both girls gave quizzical expressions.

"...what? What?"

"...why do you have one?"

Miroku looked down at the briefcase in his hands, as if he just noticed it was there. "Oh! Well, I was studying to become a lawyer, but things didn't work out."

"Oh?"

"Turns out you can't lie to the court." He grinned and popped open the case, taking out two manila folders and shut his briefcase with a 'click' and laid it on the ground. He put one folder onto the coffee table and both women moved from their chairs to sit next to him on either side. Miroku gave a grin.

"Shut it and take your mind out of the gutter," Sango growled. Miroku smiled. "Let's go over the last two, shall we?"

They read through the facts, taking time to memorize each one. "She's a pretty one, but isn't she a bit young?" Sango asked after they mulled over it.

Kagura shrugged. "Probably was abused at home and ran away. It happens more than you think." Sango nodded.

"Ahhh..."

"Oh! Oh!" Miroku yelped.

"What?" both women responded.

"I know this place!" He grinned excitedly. "Oh... I've seen her! No wonder her face was familiar..."

"Pervert."

"Hentai." Came the two disgusted grunts.

Miroku shrugged.

"Well... let's open the other one shall we?" They put down the one they were examining and moved on.

"Ooh... he's rather..." Sango started. Miroku sniggered. Kagura blinked. "...pretty..."

"Are you sure that's a guy?" she asked. Miroku nodded.

"We should read through his facts, just to see if there was any..." and Miroku broke off into laughter.

"Well, he's only 27. No sex change by the way, Miroku. Works at – hey! I have a check-up appointment for that hospital in – SHIT!" Sango flew up and stared at the clock. "Someone please tell me my clock is broken."

"...your clock is... broken...?" Miroku told her.

"Might as well get to him." Kagura added. They all agreed and quickly got together everything, Miroku making sure to nab the folders on the table, and they quickly left.

"Are you sure you want to drive, because, I mean, I can – "and Miroku quickly shut up from the cold glare that Sango gave him.

"No one touches my baby," she gritted out through her teeth.

"Whatever, you two just get in will you!" Kagura nagged from the backseat of the car.

Sango quickly got in and Miroku slid in right as she floored it.

"Hey... this is the hospital we are talking about here..." Miroku spoke as they drove on. He was clinging onto the side arm like his life depended on it. "Watch out for that – Nevermind."

"So what about the hospital?" Kagura asked.

"Well... it IS the hospital... what if he's like a deranged mental patient...?"

"No! He isn't."

"Yeah Miroku. Just shut it and let me drive." Sango snapped.

"...he might be a deranged mental patient who has RP and likes blood..."

The car ride was silent the rest of the trip.

* * *

When they arrived at the hospital, Miroku leapt out of the car. "You drive like a madwoman!"

"I'm used to that kind of driving."

"Just stomach it, you big pussy." Kagura shrugged as they walked in the hospital. They agreed that Sango would locate them once she was done with her appointment and they were to find this Sesshoumaru dude.

As Kagura and Miroku traveled down the halls, they noticed a lot of strange... patients. "Hey," Miroku whispered, "do you really think this Sesshoumaru's a patient here? One of those cracks?"

Kagura nodded. "Most likely. Let's hope he has RP too... Let's go to the desk and ask the receptionist. I'll be his... ex-girlfriend, filled with grief of hearing about his incapacity and you'll be my mentally retarded little brother." Miroku just twitched and looked at her long and hard as they went down the elevator. "What? I watch too many soaps."

"W...whatever..."

They approached the desk. Kagura did the speaking, as it was a female nurse and Kagura didn't trust Miroku to do it properly.

"Can I see Sesshoumaru Mitsukai?" The nurse looked at Kagura skeptically, but she held her ground. "It's been forever since I've seen him and I swear my – "

"He's on the fourth floor. His office is in the left wing." Kagura blinked before smiling and walking away.

"Apparently he's not a patient...?" Miroku grinned.

Kagura rolled her eyes. "Let me do the talking. I don't trust you."

Miroku fake pouted. "Why ever not? I got you pretty good. And Sango too!"

"I think you might hit on him because he looks too much like a girl." Kagura glared at Miroku.

"Are – are you SERIOUS!" Miroku choked on his words. "I swear I – "and he fell silent as the elevator doors opened and someone entered. The man gave them an encouraging smile.

"Hello. Whadda ya here for?" he grinned broadly. Miroku smiled back and Kagura just stared.

"Well, my hunny buns and I are having our first one!" Miroku exclaimed. Kagura swore she saw red and it was just begging her to take that stiletto she had strapped to her hips and dig it deep into his chest... just two stabs... two would do...

"Oh really!" The man broke out into an even bigger grin, which seemed impossible as it seemed his mouth was consuming his face. "Congratulations on the baby!"

Kagura butted in before Miroku could open his mouth. "I don't see why there are any congratulations in order. My husband is just having his first kidney stone removed tonight." Her cold voice added very well to the atmosphere. The man paled noticeable but still kept that annoying smile.

"Oh... well... good luck?" and the doors opened and Miroku eagerly stepped out of the elevator, giving his cheeks a chance to lose its flush.

"Why'd you do that!" Miroku hissed. Kagura scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"Hunny buns? What kind of a name is that!"

"Well – it works on other girls!" Miroku twitched slightly under the intense glare that she was giving him. "Okay! SOME girls! JEESH! Okay... Okay! It worked once! Once!"

Kagura nodded.

"But that guy was giving me a look before he spoke! I thought he was gay!" Miroku shuddered and rubbed his shoulders. "Scary..."

Kagura rolled her eyes and directed him away from the wall he was about to run into. "Idiot, watch where you're going. Not where my ass is."

Miroku shrugged. "Habit."

"Quit."

"Tried. Patches didn't work either." He looked nonchalantly around when Kagura stopped walking and just stared at him. "What? Oh look! There's his office!"

"Remember you perv, I do the talking!" she hissed into his ear as they knocked on the door. The door opened and revealed a tall, drop-dead gorgeous woman who looked them up and down before smiling.

"Hello! You two must be the lady and man that Ms. Yura had sent up! What is it that you want? Dr. Jakotsu Minomari at your service. How may I help you?"


	4. The Doctor

"Please! Do come in!" Jakotsu ushered them in, naively oblivious to the rather confused look on both Miroku and Kagura's faces. "Make yourselves comfortable!" 

Miroku took the initiative and sat in one of the red chairs. Kagura shot Jakotsu a look before doing the same. Jakotsu siddled around the desk and sat in the chair adjacent to them, and broke out in smiles.

"So what can I do for you?" He asked cheerily. Kagura looked at the ceiling for a moment before clearing her throat and answering.

"Well... for starters you could tell us what you're doing in this office." she stated bluntly.

Jakotsu gasped. "What is so odd about me being in here?"

"Because Jakotsu," Kagura slowly grounded out the words, as if she were chewing each one in her mouth before proceeding to speak, "You and I both know that you are **not** a doctor here."

Jakotsu rapped his knuckles rather suddenly on the wooden desk. "Nonsense!"

"**Where** is your doctor?" Kagura ground out yet again. Miroku was sinking farther and farther back into his red chair, very obvious of the fact that Jakotsu looked and was most likely... gay. And he didn't like the looks that man was giving him. Not one bit.

"I _am_ the doctor hun!" was the indignant reply. Kagura sighed and quickly got out of her chair.

"Look. I will go down to the receptionist and say that you are out of your room. Get me your doctor. _Now_." Kagura placed both hands on the side of the desk and leaned forward. "I _mean_ it Jakotsu. Get me your doctor now. You are in serious shit."

"I agree. I told you to wait in the examination room for me."

**Makeshift Superheroes**

**Chapter Three**

**The Doctor**

Kagura turned around to face a tall man, who was focusing a rather intense glare on Jakotsu; most likely with the intention of intimidating the man. It was having no effect whatsoever, the proof being that Jakotsu bounded over and embraced the man rather enthusiatically.

"I assume you are Sesshoumaru Mitsukai?" Miroku coughed violently. Kagura gave him a scathing glare before returning to face the man, waiting for an answer to her question.

"Yes. Jakotsu. If you do not let go, I will give you sedatives. I will not be merciful." Sesshoumaru's deep voice made chills run down Kagura spine, but she shook them off.

"Aww..." Jakotsu pouted. "I'll be waiting for you in my room! And I'll be... **ready**..."

"Keep your clothes on. I'll send Yura in if I even _think_ you aren't fully dressed."

Jakotsu pouted but left the room efficiently. Kagura gaving him a look before he invited them to sit down and he went around to the other side of the desk.

After a few moments of silence, Miroku cleared his throat and gave Kagura a meaningful glance. She ignored him. Miroku coughed violently.

The silence persisted.

"So... are we just bonding right now?" Miroku sighed. Sesshoumaru stared at him. Miroku was rather unnerved by the intense gaze of the doctor.

"What is it that you are here for?"

"We were sent to fetch you!" Miroku responded cheerily. He was met with a stony glare from Kagura.

"...like a _dog_...?" Sesshoumaru inquired. Kagura slapped Miroku's hand.

"This is why you don't talk." Kagura turned her attention back to Sesshoumaru. "We need help."

"Apparently."

"Someone has sent us to get you." Kagura finished. She looked at the man's face to read any expression he had, but it was a blank slate. Very scary and slightly disturbing... Sesshoumaru sat there, staring intensely at the both of them for a few minutes. Miroku got rather nervous, and fidgeted, having had his fill of gay men for the day... for the rest of his natural life really...

"Who was it? Naraku?" Sesshoumaru's inquiring tone set Kagura a little bit at ease, and she relaxed her tense shoulders.

"So I guess you know him too?"

"No. I just randomly picked a word and said it."

"Really?" Kagura and Sesshoumaru both deadpanned at Miroku. "What? **WHAT?**"

"So will you help us?" Kagura asked, her tone demanding he answer her. Or face the consequences. And you really didn't want to face the consequences when Kagura was the one deciding punishment… she had a really disturbing mind…

"No. I have no inclination or motivation to help you. Leave." and he set himself to begin scribbling something on a piece of paper. Kagura glared. Miroku stared at Kagura.

"Psst!" Kagura looked over to him, and Sesshoumaru visibly twitched, but kept writing.

"What?" She asked. Miroku blanched and put a finger to his lip, telling her to be quiet. "...sorry?"

He wiggled his chair closer to her, each screeching noise making Sesshoumaru wince. He still continued to write on the paper. After whispering something into Kagura's ear, Miroku grinned.

Kagura, however, frowned. "What? There's a broker in his room?" Sesshoumaru stopped pretending to write. He looked up and propped his head up, with his elbow on the table.

"No!" Miroku hissed indignantly and motioned for Kagura to get closer again. Miroku whispered into her ear again.

"**_WHAT?_** There's a carp in your a - "

"NO! DAMMIT! I'll just say it!" Miroku groaned. "Sesshoumaru. You say there isn't any motivation for you, but what does the name Inuyasha mean to you?"

Sesshoumaru's head slipped off the arm that was propping it up. And he quickly regained his posture, but it seemed that he was very startled to hear the name, being that his voice was shaking. "How do you know Inuyasha? Where is he? How in the hell do - "

"Calm down!" Miroku stood up, and held his hands out in a peaceful gesture. "I do not know Inuyasha."

"What in the name of hell are - "

"Let me finish! Jeesh. I came home one day and I found a big envelope. Inside it were four files, one of them yours and one of them Ms. Kaze's. There was also a disc, but that... was not of very much help."

"It exploded."

"Let me tell it Kagura! I can do it! I'm a big boy!"

Kagura rolled her eyes.

"Anyway, there was also a check. It was fake, and we need to gather those four people from the information those files I was given. Do you want to help us? Because this person knows waaayy too much." Kagura finished quickly and gave a triumphant smirk Miroku's way. Miroku pouted.

"So... will you help us now?"

"No. Get out." Sesshoumaru placid expression and his narrowing eyes were a sign that screamed **RUN FOR YOU BLOODY LIFE, **and he would have done so, if Kagura were not so stubborn. No man should ever leave a damsel in distress...

"Listen you stupid stubborn sonofabitch!" Kagura ranted. "You should - **oof**!" and Miroku did what any man would have done at that moment. He tossed Kagura onto his shoulder, winced momentarily at the wait, waved good-bye to Sesshoumaru, and ran out of the door and into the hall. "HEY! LET ME GO!"

"N-noOOO!" Miroku panted out as he kept running. The elevator was almost there. If only he could just - YES!

They were in the elevator and Miroku dumped Kagura onto the floor. "You idiot! What the hell is running through that small brain of yours!"

"Kagura, will you please calm down?"

"NO! Don't tell me to calm down! We are going back there right now and making him come with us!"

"Kagura - "

"NOW!"

"...hello?" Sango asked, peering into the elevator with a rather confused look in her eyes. "You do know that the elevator doors opened awhile ago?"

Kagura's lips tightened and she drew a fan, it seemed, out of nowhere, and gave Miroku a sound whack on his head. "Don't ever manhandle me like that again or **you will pay**."

"Yes ma'am!" Miroku responded cheerily and saluted. He was met with a stare from Sango and a glare from Kagura.

The two in the elevator stopped and blinked, staring behind Sango. "I... guess... we should be going...?" Miroku said hesitantly, still staring at the mass of people behind Sango.

Kagura stiffened. "Maybe we should." The three quickly left the building and headed for Sango's car. As Kagura slid quickly into the driver's seat, Miroku maneuvered Sango into the backseat and closed the door.

Miroku then got in the front seat.

"Hey! This is my car!"

"And you drive like you're having a seizure. I do not want to die like this." Kagura snapped as she weaved in and out of the oncoming traffic.

"Besides, Kagura seems like a much safer driv - GAAAAAAAAAHHH!" Miroku yelped as Kagura suddenly floored it, a loud screech emitting from the tires, and laughed.

"So much for that!" Sango yelled at the back of Miroku's head. The reason she had to yell was because cars around them were slamming on their brakes and beeping them. Some even gave them nice hand gestures. How _nice..._

As they finally entered the parking lot of a fancy hotel, Sango released her death grip on Miroku's shoulders. THe man in front sighed and rolled his shoulder blades back and then cleared his throat.

"Kagura. I believe we have the wrong place."

"Nu-uh."

"But this isn't my apartme - "

"Sorry hun, but that place doesn't suit me. We're all staying my room tonight." Kagura finally found a parking spot she deemed suitable and slid in gracefully as you could with a car.

"Alright!" Miroku's grin quicky faded at the sharp glare that Sango was giving him. "But..." and he cleared his throat, "I believe I shall sleep on the floor as a gentleman should. You two lovely ladies shall have the bed."

Kagura smiled grimly. "I know that idiot. You are going to sleep in the same room as us."

Miroku blinked. "Where am I sleeping then?"

"I'm not that cruel okay? You get the bloody couch!" Sango snorted and Kaugra chuckled.

"...oh. I thought you meant someth - nevermind." He cleared his throat and quickened his walking pace as they reached the lobby. He slowed down slightly to let the two women catch up to him.

"What did you think I meant?" Kagura hissed quietly as she gave a polite nod and smile to the bellboy who was passing by. Miroku gave no reply.

"Walk faster. I think we're being followed." Sango said in a soft tone. "He's been following us since we left the hospital. The faster we get to your room, the better."

"I see him too. Do you think he's the guy who sent me the fake check? Because if it's that bastard I'm going to - "

"Will you stop it with the money already? Bes - " Kagura halted in what she had to say and paled.

"What's wrong?" Miroku looked around to see if anyone had shot her with something. No... it seemed clear. Kagura's eyes widened as she stared at someone behind Miroku, and was already backing up.

"Seriously, answer us! What's wrong? Do we need to get out of here or something?"

"No..." Kagura squeaked out. "It's just th - "

"Well well well Kagura. It's so nice to see that you've finished your errands for the day already. And who are these? Your _friends_?" A voice grated out from behind Miroku, who spun around quickly. There in front of him stood a man... a rather short man...was it a man or a boy...? Anyway, he was dressed in a lavendar suit with a matching tie.

He looked rather spiffy, for a lack of better words. "Ahh... Hakudoshi!" Kagura tittered, "It's so good to see you again! Hasn't it been awhi - "

"You didn't pay up." Hakudoshi said. His gravelly voice, so deep and... mature... threw off Sango.

He couldn't have been more than twelve! Perhaps a demon? _Young.. young looking demon_ was all Sango's brain could register.

"Well, I mean, you have to admit under the circumstance that it was a little hard to give you that amount of curren - "

"I want my money. Now." Hakudoshi stepped closer, and Miroku stepped aside to allow the small man to do so.

Kagura sighed in reluctance. "Alright, just let me drive down to the nearest ATM and I'll wire it to you by Mon - "

"It was not a request Kagura." He strained every syllable in her name.

"But I don't carry that much on me!" She protested. Miroku deemed this an opportune moment to step in.

"The lady says she doesn't have enough right now. She'll give her word to you on her mother's grave that she will get the money to you by Monday. Isn't that right Ms. Kaze?" Miroku smiled broadly and turned around only to find that Kagura had run off with Sango the moment he began talking. Turning back to face Hakudoshi, he grinned. "Well then... Alleyoop!" And ran away quickly.

Hakudoshi spluttered indignant protests as Miroku became a purple dot.

* * *

AN: I deleted my other AN's, seeing as how they were stupid and they blabbered on about random things that had nothing pertaining to MS, so I guess I had a - oops. I'm doing it again aren't I? 


	5. The Stripper

"So now I guess we really have to stay at my place," Miroku sighed with a pitiful look.

"No we don't. We still have my place."

"I want to stay with her," Kagura added, "if it's all right with you Sango." The mentioned girl shook her head.

"Ah… how sexist. I thought you of all people would understand Kagura. I am a mere peddler, and you accuse me indirectly of all these falsehoods. I am wounded dear women, I am _wounded_."

"…I bet you talk yourself out of a lot of troubles 'peddler'. Besides, do you happen to have things a woman would need?" Sango chuckled at this.

Strangely – Miroku did too.

"Yes my dear lady, I have all the necessities a woman could want for. A giant screen TV, an enormous bathroom, and well-stocked fridge, and satin sheets for your liking."

Sango's face became more pained with everything Miroku said until she finally couldn't bear it anymore. She started laughing, and her whole body frame shook, with her hand hitting the dashboard. Kagura turned around and gave Miroku a look before shaking her head and burst out laughing.

After a few moments of awkwardness for Miroku, he couldn't help but think '_I'm just glad she parked the car before starting this conversation._'

**Makeshift Superheroes**

**Chapter Four**

**The Stripper**

"I meant tampons."

"Oh."

That was the awkward sentiment that Kagura informed Miroku of before Sango, still chuckling slightly, started the car and began to drive towards her apartment.

"Tomorrow we'll go find the other one. M'kay?" Sango asked as they began their descent to her apartment. Miroku nodded, but frowned slightly.

"Why am I not going home?"

"That's a good question."

**

* * *

**

Standing in Miroku's apartment, the shadowy figure peered out the window to confirm the return of the three.

As she had suspected, Mitsukai had shrugged them off. It would only be time before he received her message. As Miroku, the only one to leave the car, started to enter the building, she gave the room a satisfied glance before returning the way she came.

**

* * *

**

Frozen in the position of holding the phone next to his ear, Sesshoumaru thought in shock how such a short and simple message could make him react in such a strange way.

_Sesshoumaru, do as they say. They may be the answer to getting your life back in order_.

**

* * *

**

"What the – Oh that's not fair man. That is so not fucking fair man." Miroku groaned to himself, grasping his head with both hands in frustration. His apartment looked like a wreck. Everything had been trashed.

"Oh man… so fucked up man… I know I locked my door. Who broke in?"

Then a feeling of paranoia struck over him… and he searched every single room thoroughly before he sat down, still with the creeping sensation that someone was watching him.

And indeed they were.

**

* * *

**

"I said maneuver it a little to the _left_ – no you numbskull! Not to the ­right! The _left_! The _LEFT_! I don't want to see his fridge, I want to see where HE is!"

"Having some trouble?"

"You just shut up. You two shut up. I told you we should've left those brats Bankotsu, but noooo, you just had to go and be pitiful."

"They're stuck in that small room all day! What else could I do?"

"We can let the hospital take care of them."

"I'm not letting your weird fetish influence them."

"Fine, but you still need to turn it a little to the left."

"Fine. Just shut up for a second."

"…that's not left!"

**

* * *

**

"Hm? Okay, just check to see if they took anything. No? Nothing? You did? Alright, just go sleep and come over tomorrow. We'll figure it out." Sango sighed and put the phone back on its hook.

Kagura looked up at her from the couch, already relaxing with a coke in one hand and the TV remote in the other. "Was that Miroku?"

"Yeah, and it seems like someone broke into his house while he was gone."

"Might've been Hakudoshi," suggested the woman who was now propping her feet onto the wooden coffee table.

The rather _expensive_ coffee table.

"Ahem… Kagura, we should really get to sleep now. We need to go try and convince – Oh, who the hell is calling so late?" The phone rang, and Sango glared at it.

Housing a complete stranger was one thing (she didn't really have a choice, Miroku wasn't very… dependable in this situation) and having the phone ring constantly in the middle of the night was just not a happy sunny day for her.

In fact, it was nighttime. And it looked like it was going to pour.

"Who is it?"

"You really should be more pleasant when answering the phone Ms. Ishinaga?"

Sango choked, creating a rather violent cough. "Se-sesshoumaru?"

"Meet me at my house tomorrow,9:00 AM sharp. Don't be late."

Sango just stared at the phone in disbelief.

"Who was it now?" She turned to look at Kagura, but just stared.

_This stuff is just getting weirder and weirder… where the hell did she get that turkey sandwich?_

**

* * *

**"I have a proposition for you." Sesshoumaru stared at them, sitting straight with his hands folded. His figure gave off a sense of… _if you bother me, I won't hesitate to get rid of you_ air that made Miroku nervous. Kind of reminded him of a cop… a cop he mistakened for a customer… 

Miroku gave a casual glance around the room, noting all the medical degrees that Sesshoumaru had. He was quite the hard worker, and those books set up behind him in an elaborate bookcase just added to his aura.

"…you wanna tell us what the proposition is?" Sango awkwardly stated after a few moments of silence, giving Miroku a flashback to the car ride here. Very quiet. For women, these two were not particularly chatty.

But then again, they weregoing around completing tasks for someone they did not know and for what reason they had noclue.Well, at least Miroku had no clue. Everyone in the room (excluding him) knew something about this Naraku person… except him. Why was that? Perhaps he _knew_ this man, only by another name.

He would have to get a description of Naraku to see if he had been acquainted with him in the past.

"I will play along with this little game you have, only if you owe me a favor."

"Hell no!" Kagura slammed her fist on the table. Sango cringed, thinking of her poor abused coffee table back home. "**We** don't even have a fucking _inkling_ of what the hell is going on. Why should we owe _you_ a favor?"

"Ah, Ms. Kaze I suggest you calm down so we can continue this in a calmer manner and – "

"Fuck it Miroku! I'm not going to let some pompous airbag let himself inflate his over-weighted head with us owing him favors!"

"I see why you were fired repeatedly for insolent behavior. Your temper is quite a short fuse." This response caused Kagura to leap out of her seat with almost an inhuman agility.

"What the hell is it to you, what the fuck my temper is?"

"Calm down Kagura, we need to focus. Just sit and relax," came the soothing tone of Sango. No wonder she was a successful woman of her business. She was able to easily persuade people to do what she wanted with her voice.

Kagura's chest heaved from being so wound up, her back rigid and her eyes set in deep furrows. A wicked scowl was set upon her face. At Sango's words she turned and gazed sharply at the calm assassin. She made what seemed to be a low growl, but turned and roughly, as if she had to force her own body, and sat down.

"Back to the proposition. What do you have in mind, these _favors_…?" Miroku sat with a confidant posture, trying to see if he could read anything into Sesshoumaru's body language.

"One from each of you. Obviously all three of you have a great need for listening to this anonymous person. If you want my co-operation you will need to give me something in return."

"Okay, THAT'S IT! I'm not going to take this from a big shot like the one you obviously are. We're all in the same fucking boat. And guess what? IT'S SINKING. Now YOU – " Kagura had managed to make her way around the table by going through it and was currently invading the stoic man's personal space while pointing a finger at him. " – yoouuu are trying to manipulate us to get what we need and what YOU also need. Don't fucking forget. I saw that look in your eyes when we said his name. What is he to you anyway? A lost lover? An old flame you're still in love with? WHAT? Or is he your brother, you incestuous pervert of an imitation man? You're just a pathetic piece of trash and I hope that your – "

"That is quite enough!" Miroku was impressed the by lungs on the seemingly docile doctor (albeit his aura was rather intimidating). "I will **not** tolerate such insolence in my house."

"Well then, now I can't be making you tolerate that now can I?" Kagura snapped, standing up again. Sango sighed, and leaned towards Kagura in her chair.

"Kagura – " she began

"Don't 'Kagura' me Sango. I'm done here, and if you want me, I'll be in the car."

True to her word, Kagura stood up and stormed out of the room. The three remaining occupants sat awkwardly, listening to her stomp down the stairs and Sango winced when she heard the car door being slammed harshly.

"Look Mitsukai, I'm not going to be disrespectful, but what you're asking of us is completely out of line," stated Sango. She gave Sesshoumaru an intense stare, watching his actions. To her surprise, he nodded.

"I know."

"…"

"I checked all three of you out – "

"How?"

" – I had your images and I merely tracked down the basic information on you three. Now concerning Ms. Kaze, I'm going to pretend she doesn't exist to release the tension."

"What t-tension?" Miroku grinned.

Sango was sitting on the edge of her chair, with her fingers gripping the sides of her chair so tightly that her knuckles were white. Miroku himself had stiffened his back and sat in a very uncomfortable looking position.

"I apologize if the fact that I have gathered information on the three of you completely rattles your bones like that, but I assume since we're going to be doing such a task together I should try and see if the three of you were con-artists."

"So... are we con-artists?" Sango smirked.

"No. Actually, I'm quite confused at what we all are. I'm a doctor, you're a mercenary, _you're_ a drug dealer, and she's a prostitute. There is absolutely no connection between any of us. Have either of you met anyone else involved with this before?"

Miroku and Sango both shook their heads, taking in everything that Sesshoumaru was saying. They had all been thinking it, but no one wanted to bring the topic up and discuss what maybe in store for them.

Sesshoumaru nodded. "Well, it may be that this is exactly the situation the people behind this... uniquequandary they wantus to be in. When are we to be informed of the next step?"

Sesshoumaru looked quizzically at Miroku, who chuckled nervously, and then at Sango, who rolled her eyes.

"Well... see, there's another person we're going to go look for."

"...and?"

"Um... we're going tonight?"

Sango stood up and pulled Miroku out of his seat. She began walking out the door, dragging an obliging Miroku with her. Before going out the opened door, she turned back. "So, you wanna come with us or not?"

Sesshoumaru stared at the bold woman for a moment before shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly and getting out of his chair. He grabbed a jacket and glanced out the window at the three figures out in his front lawn chattering quietly. It actually looked more like bickering, but who was to know?

He pulled out a cell phone from his jacket's inner pocket and dialed a number.

"Hey - can you come and housesit? Yeah, I've taken the whole scenario into actual consideration. No - no. No more cable porn. No, I'll hide the remotes. No! You made my bill go insane last time! No!"

Sesshoumaru snapped the phone shut and rubbed his temples.

_Dammit... and he's the only one who'll housesit for me..._

**

* * *

**

"So... remind me again what we're doing here." Sango stated as she craned her neck back to look at the neon sign they were standing in front of. 

**FLASHY GIRLS GO D BEER **

Miroku chuckled. "This is... quite a place isn't it?"

Sesshoumaru and Kagura just forced themselves to enter the dimly lit (the neon sign was not much comfort) and rather sketchy looking building.

Miroku was about to join them, when he looked back at Sango, who had her head looking at the ground.

"Sango, you coming?"

"I... no. This place is gross," Sango muttered. "It's humiliating to even be _near_ this damned place."

"Psh!" And Miroku, with the stubborn struggles of Sango, gently guided her through the wooden door.

As they entered the dingy building, Sango noted that it was the complete and polar opposite of the appearance outside.

Before her was a massive room, full of women dancing promisciously on poles, and it all seemed so...

"Looks pretty high-class when you look at it eh?" Miroku grinned and tugged on her forearm, letting his hand slip into hers as he pulled her along looking for Sesshoumaru and Kagura.

He located them sitting at a table near the catwalk.

The music was sassy and loud. Sango didn't like the situation one bit. How would the find the girl they were looking for anyway? She would obviously be in a different attire, and perhaps wearing a mask. _Or maybe make-up..._ Sango pondered as the room suddenly dimmed its lights, sending the people inside into a mild panic.

"What's going on?" Sango hissed. Miroku looked at her with a teasing look in his eye.

"You've never been to one of these places before?" he asked her with a playful quality in his voice. Kagura snorted and Sesshoumaru just stood there.

"What!? And you have?" Kagura shuffled her chair closer to the girl.

"No need to freak out here, and don't worry. It's nothing like sex on stage. They just tease."

"..." Sango turned slightly paler and tightened her grip on Miroku's hand. Miroku didn't mention anything but he had a smile on his face. It was amazing how nervous and unprepared she (considering her line of work) seemed for such a place.

"For some reason I don't think that comforted her," Sesshoumaru observed.

"You shut up smart ass! I bet you've never been in one of these places either!"

"Shhh!" Miroku held a finger up to Kagura's mouth, indicating she should lower her voice. He then turned to the stage and watched as the spotlights redirect themselves to the center of the stage, where curtains lay.

The music that had been playing in the background screeched to a halt, and the room was full of quiet whispers before another song started to play.

A slow beat filled the room, quieting the audience. The red curtains drew open slowly, revealing a girl standing in a model pose. She was dressed in as much fabric as it seemed was on Miroku's shirt. The cloth hung tightly on her figure.

Perhaps the most modest thing she had was the two giant feather fans she held. The music started up, and the girl strutted to the end of the catwalk, singing along to the song that was playing.

_I'm not ashamed of the things that I dream  
I find myself flirting with the verge of obscene  
Into the unknown I will be bold  
I'm going to the places that I can be out of control..._

She drew the fans provocatively across her body and slowly slinked to the pole.

"Miroku!" Kagura hissed. "That's our girl."

Miroku blinked and turned to Kagura. "Are you sure? She doesn't really..."

"Trust me. I can see past the dress up."

Miroku nodded. _Did they mention her name?_

She finished dancing for the rest of the song, and bowed before leaving the stage.

"GENTLEMEN GIVE IT UP FOR MS. TAMA!" A round of cheers, hoots, and catcalls erupted from the club.

Sango, who had apparently decided that if she was going to be stuck in such an abmysal place she might as well get slightly wasted.

"I'm going to go get a drink," she said as she slinked out of her chair, loosening her grip with Miroku's hand and standing up. _Was.. I holding his hand the entire time?_ She blushed slightly as Miroku turned to her.

"Will you get me a shot of Bacardi 151?"

"Sure."

"And a Bloody Mary for me."

"Sure..."

The three figures turned and stared at Sesshoumaru, who stared back dully in return. "What?"

"Aren't you going to get anything?" inquired Kagura.

"No."

She smirked. "Oh, so what? Can't handle alcohol?"

"It kills you."

"Psh. That's what wimps say." she smirked. "Hey, get him a shot alright?"

Sango nodded and went to the bar. Kagura turned her attention back to Sesshoumaru. "So what else can't you stomach? Snakes? Lizards? Buggies? Or are you just a big teddy bear who's afraid of the daaark?"

"Your babyish tone of voice is trying on my nerves Ms. Kaze." Sesshoumaru gritted out.

"Oooooooh... am I making Mr. Mitsukaaai angryy?" Kagura grinned and gave him a pouty face when he glared at her.

"For your information alcohol is a bad addiction. I bet you've used it many times to dull the pain of an emotional tear you do not wish to deal. You've probably, in this life you live, drank enough to permanently cause your liver serious issues."

"...you're a very bitter man Mitsukai."

"The taste does not make up for the damage it's going to do to your body." Sesshoumaru noted as Sango arrived with their drinks. Kagura scoffed and took a big swig of her drink to spite him.

Sango put a glass on the table and slid it over to Sesshoumaru.

"I didn't want anything."

"It's water."

"..thanks."

"Well I'm way too hot to die from alcohol poisoning!" Miroku declared, downing his shot glass. He then coughed violently, making wheezing noises.

"...that doesn't sound very good." Sango watched as Miroku shook his head around to clear his throat.

Sesshoumaru handed the glass of water to Miroku, who greedily gulped it down. "Thanks..."

"So when should we talk to Ms. Higurashi?" Sesshoumaru asked after Miroku's face color returned to normal.

"Now would be a good time. We don't know if she has a shift after that little act so we'd better act fast. I'll go talk to her."

"No... we're all going. You just want to get backstage you dolt," spat out Kagura, who quickly downed the rest of her drink.

"I agree. We all go." Sesshoumaru stated as he stood up. When the others failed to follow him, he stared at them. "Don't waste time."

* * *

AN: Lyrics are from Britney Spears - Touch of My Hand.  



	6. The Gathering

"So, Sesshoumaru, my good man. I knew you had it in you! Let us go off and be our manly selves, indulging in all that the glory that men can divul – "

"Shut up Miroku. He meant we're all going to go find this girl," Kagura snidely remarked. The boy was just sometimes too stupid. Or was he just playing stupid? The aforementioned boy shook his head and chuckled.

"You have a stick up your ass Kagura," he commented lightly. "But it's quite fun to play around with you!" and saying this line, he waggled his eyebrows laviciously, to which Kagura replied with a disgusted grunt and a momentary loss of words at the sudden rudeness Miroku had displayed.

Meanwhile, Sesshoumaru and Sango had proceeded while they had their little banter, leaving them behind in the rather crowded bar. Kagura looked around wildly, trying to spot the white-haired man among the dark mass of bodies. Miroku took this opportunity to siddle up next to her. "I don't think they need all four of us. Shall we dance?"

Kagura just stared at him, while he looked at her with a twinkle in his eye. "You… want to dance after all that's happened to you in the past four days? You're not normal."

And again, Miroku gave her a cheery grin. "Ever the pleasant conversationalist. Let's see how you move on the dance floor!" Without her permission, Miroku grabbed Kagura and shoved her even deeper in the mass of swaying bodies.

**Makeshift Superheroes  
Chapter Five  
The Gathering  
**

Sesshoumaru and Sango arrived safely near the entrance to the backstage. Safely, as in having numerous men (drunken out of their minds – or maybe they just had really bad personalities) oozing up to Sango and trying to hit on her. Sesshoumaru had just proceeded onward, brushing the men aside.

That is – until one of them placed their hands on his chest.

"Hey baby! You're kinda flat, but I'd give you a hella good time if you just gave me the – " and suddenly, Sango and Sesshoumaru were standing near the purple curtains that became the only barrier between them and the girl.

"Uh… did you just run around everyone in the club?" Sango asked. She knew demons had superb speed, but she didn't see how Sesshoumaru could manage to so gracefully bypass the many (_too_ many) bodies in such a small enclosure of space.

"Yes. How do we get backstage?" Sesshoumaru without looking at Sango, who stood quite close to his person. Her proximity was rather annoying, however – it was more welcome than the other humans that reeked of disgusting alcohol, not to mention the drugs or the sex some of the people's scents gave off.

Sango eyed the two rather intimidating looking bodyguards keeping watch over the purple curtain area. Anyone walking near the curtains were brutally looked over by the guards. Creepy.

"I suggest we go there and just intimidate them to get in," Sango said quietly, leaning up towards Sesshoumaru's ear so that her voice was directed towards him. She knew he could hear her perfectly, but the bodyguards had set their gazes upon them, and a man and woman studying the purple curtains looked rather suspicious.

"You're alert."

"It's my job," Sango drawled as she took a step forward towards the bodyguards, indicating that Sesshoumaru follow suit.

Sesshoumaru managed a smirk, amused at how the assassin managed to change her attitude when it came to applying her job in such a degrading environment. She had been rather nervous and anxious in the strip bar, but it seemed she had caught her bearings when she set her mind on an objective.

_How… amusing._

Sango made as if to walk straight through the two burly men, but was stopped instantaneously as the bodyguards both held out an arm, blocking her pathway.

"Where'd you think you is going little girl?" asked one of the men. He gave her a mean glare, and looked away from her face temporarily to give Sesshoumaru a quick glance over.

"Let me in. I want to see one of my friends." Sango stated with an indignant tone, looking viciously at the arms in front of them. "Either you move those arms or I move them for you."

The bodyguards gave each other a look before shrugging. "Whose you lookin for?" asked the other bodyguard.

"Kagome," spoke Sango. The two men gave each other shrugs. This girl in front of them had used one of their girls' real name, so she must be a friend. Right?

"Alright little girl, you got lucky this time." They swung their arms down to let her down, and she quickly strode through. Sesshoumaru took a few steps to follow her along, but was stopped short by the guards. "Uh uh buddy. No men allowed in back."

Without hesitation, Sango stopped walking and turned her head around halfway. "She's with me."

The bodyguards started to give Sesshoumaru another look over as they put their arms down hesitantly, but before they could give a thorough eye inspection, Sango reached an arm out and roughly jerked him through the muscle men with the sleeve of his shirt.

* * *

Kagura glared heavily at Miroku as she saw that Sesshoumaru and Sango had made it past those ugly looking bodyguards. It had taken but a few minutes to jab her way around the pressing bodies spazzing frantically into what they called dancing. Rather disgusting, if you asked her. But no one ever did. Not that a whore's opinion was worth much anyway. 

"Look what you did! They already went in. You and your dancing. Now how are we going to catch up to them?"

She ranted at him at the edge of the dance floor, her eyes glowering with an "Oh I'm so pissed off I could shove this shoe up your ass" feel. Miroku only chuckled and shook his head. "My dear dear Kagura. Many times have I tried venturing into that enticing purple curtain, only to be turned away. I fear that those men have memorized my face and put it to infamy in those tiny, miniscule brains of theirs. I merely asked for your companionship while the other two delegated our mission into this – "

"Oh shut up already. You've been kicked out for trying to sneak in there haven't you?" With a sigh and relenting nod from Miroku, Kagura rolled her eyes and proceeded to drag him off the dance floor. They found their way over to the bar. ' We might as well play' was her sentiments on the subject and she was rather happy when Miroku offered to foot the bill for their drinks.

* * *

Sango and Sesshoumaru made their way around the cluttered, chaotic mess of a backstage. There were curtains set up everywhere so that the girls could at least have a small sense of dignity when changing. It was a nice gesture, but also very annoying for the two. How were they going to find the girl among all the other girls?! 

Sango frowned and looked around. "If only we had her scent. We could use you like a hunting dog..."

"Pardon?"

Sango froze, ignoring his comment. Her eyes soaked in the sight before her and then... "Look! A sign," was what she muttered as she dragged Sesshoumaru halfway across the backstage, with mixed responses of indignant squeals and lusty purrs elicited from various girls there. There was a curtain in the corner, with a nameplate nailed pitifully on the side. But… at least there was a name plate.

"Your antics are quite useful," Sesshoumaru commented. He knocked on the wall where the black curtain was attached. "Yes?" Kagome's head popped out in-between the two sheets of curtain, giving her an oddly disembodied appearance. Not recognizing either, she continued. "I'm sorry, I'm getting off duty in a few minutes. You'll have to come tomorrow or something and - "

"It's about your brother," Sango cut in, taking on a professional attitude. She stood straight, wiped the emotion off of her face, and stared down at Kagome. She was only about two or three inches taller than the girl, but those inches counted. Sesshoumaru was just Sesshoumaru - he didn't have to go all switching attitudes. And it helped that he was about a head taller than both of them. And so, with the two of them staring her down, Kagome felt chills go down her spine.

"Okay, just wait a few minutes," Kagome paused. She turned and closed the curtain behind her. Knowing that the rather pretty man was a demon, she knew what she said could be heard, so she spoke softly into the enclosure. "I'll get my stuff and we can go somewhere quieter." She had a hard time dressing because she was so incredibly distracted. She attempted to put her head in a sleeve, and had tried to fit both legs into one side of her jeans.

They said brother...

_...Souta?_

* * *

Kagura was a demon. It was assured. Miroku sat there watching in horror as the woman kept slamming down drinks. "Youes know? Thisssss hurr is maaiii faaaavorrrut drink. Tsoo bad it's alwayss sooo pwicy." 

"Well, I was wondering why you had so many. I think you've had enough?" Miroku tried to nudge the cup out of her hands. She growled and clung to it even more, pressing it against her chest.

"No! Yous said I…I coo hav anyyythin on y-your billssss."

"I did say that, my fair lady, but I had not imagined you would have gone crazy and ordered so many," Miroku replied with a slightly annoyed tone. It was not that he couldn't pay – it was just that she had so many! What kind of woman – albeit demon – could stomach so much alcohol?

Miroku groaned inwardly as Kagura ignored him and asked the bartender for another one. As the young man neared, he gave Miroku a sympathetic nod. "Miss, I believe you've had enough. I don't think your boyfriend would approve if I gave you another cup."

"W-wuh?" Miroku winced. "Buoyfand? He not my buoyfand. You quay. Quway." Kagura shook her head. "Kuwayway. Kuwalay."

"Crazy?" Miroku asked.

"Yah. Kuwayway."

He shook his head and looked towards the ceiling for a moment. When he looked back down, Kagura was sipping another cup happily – and the young bartender was sidling away to help another customer at the bar.

"What happened to her?" Sango asked.

Miroku snapped his head around and focused his gaze on his grumpy little assassin. "Hey Sango," Miroku grinned. "Kagura? Oh, she got a little happy."

"…a little too happy, by the looks of it?" another girl added. Miroku turned his head and, there, sheltered by the body of Sesshoumaru, was the girl they'd been seeking.

"Oh hey, since we're done here – Kagura… can you walk?" Miroku turned and gently tried to take the cup from her.

"No! Dieeeeeeeeeeeeee," slurred Kagura before she giggled. "I luuuuurv dinkin' liqo."

A few minutes later the awkward group emerged from the strip club, Sango and Miroku guiding the severely intoxicated Kagura. It seemed that, although she had consumed inhumane proportions of alcohol she was still able to walk. Her sense of logic and such was severely diminished, but hey – she could walk.

As they boarded the car, Sesshoumaru took the wheel. Sango forced Miroku into the shotgun seat, and the girls sat in the back. They sat there, silence permeating the car.

"So… where should we go?" Miroku wondered aloud.

"Um, I think you should take care of this girl here first," Kagome responded. She was currently sitting behind Miroku and next to Kagura, who was getting hit hard with the alcohol and currently sleeping it off. Kagura was using Kagome as a pillow. However, it seemed that Kagura liked to violently manhandle her pillows into a desired shape and Kagome's body just wasn't molding the way she wanted it to.

"We passed by a diner on the way here. Would you like to go there?" Sango offered.

"Yes please," Kagome agreed. She seemed to be trying to keep her cool, but a little note of hope escaped into her voice. It seemed that Kagura was very aggressive with pillows.

* * *

When they arrived at the diner a few minutes later, Kagome sprang ecstatically from the car. She rolled her shoulders a bit, relieving them from the smacks and punches she had taken from the sleeping demon. 

Meanwhile, the girl who had gone backstage to get her had positioned the drunk demon girl in the car and they all went into the diner – leaving the drunk girl in the car.

They quickly and quietly slid into a booth in the corner of the diner. The black-haired man ordered a cup of coffee, and gladly accepted his offer of a cup. The other two declined and did not order anything.

When their drinks had arrived, they sat in relative silence. The black-haired boy tried to stir up idle chitchat, but Kagome really wasn't interested. Neither were the other two.

"What… what do you want with me? And what do you know about my brother?" she finally gathered the courage to blurt out while the black-haired man, who had introduced himself as Miroku, took a sip of his scalding coffee.

"A-ah… about that… haha. The thing is, I don't know anything about your brother. Hell, I don't really know anything about you," Miroku said.

"And why do you sound so happy about that?"

Kagome felt that Miroku was a little off.

She was put off a little by this fact. "Well, then why did you want to talk to me?"

"Okay – let me tell you. Frankly, Miroku you suck at telling the story. I don't care that it's your story. Let me tell it. Okay – Kagome, none of us really know each other. I just met Miroku three days ago. And it's only been two for Sesshoumaru. Miroku here got sent a pack of information on each of us. He was supposed to track us down – "

" – to kill us?" Kagome gasped, a little sarcastic. This whole situation was a little odd, but she had grown accustomed to strange things. She just kind of went with the flow whenever something funky popped up.

"…no. Listen to me, we're supposed to get together for some reason. When is this person going to talk to you again?"

"Uhh – " Miroku paused to think. "Seven days. One week. It's been five, well almost six. So I guess two more days."

"Yeah, and we're supposed to be together then and that person will contact us. They need our help on something. Are you willing?"

Kagome sat there, tracing the rim of her coffee cup with her fingers, "You sure you have the right person? I kind of think you guys are all nutcases."

"Miroku's the biggest one," Sango amended. "But out of curiousity, what does the name Naraku mean to you?"

Kagome's finger stopped moving. It seemed that, for about a few moments, her whole body froze.

"That name… means a lot."

"Then you'll come with us?"

"I will."

"Then, we meet in two days at Miroku's apartment."

They agreed upon it. Kagome was handed Miroku's address scribbled on a napkin. They dropped her off at the bar, where she went her own way.

Sesshoumaru returned to his house while Sango, Miroku, and Kagura did likewise.

They would not see each other again for two days.

* * *

AN: I bet you all think you went crazy thinking I died. Just kidding. Anyway, it's been like what? A YEAR. Good job. Go me. I'm just the best about updating regularly. Anyway - summer's here. It's midnight. I'm bored out of my mind. Enjoy. (Oh wow, I just checked the last updated date. So it's been about TWO YEARS. Go me... wow.) Leave input please. Reviews are the love. :) Makes me more motivated to update. Maybe. :P 


	7. The Escort

Miroku wiped the sweat off his forehead with the back of his sleeve. This had been hard work, cleaning up the mess. The people who trashed his apartment would pay dearly for all the keepsakes they had damaged. Some of those… were irreplaceable. And very, very dear to him. He held the broken piece of wood in a tight grip, and then loosened it quickly for fear of causing further damage to it.

"Sorry… I couldn't keep you safe," he whispered to it before putting it somewhere safe. He looked around his apartment, which was looking rather clean. He had even taken the decency to put away his stash. He wasn't sure what to expect, so he packed a loaded gun in the back of his pants as an extra precaution.

The doorbell rang.

**Makeshift Superheroes  
****Chapter Six  
The Escort**

"Why, my dear Sango it is an extreme pleasure to see you. And with two other girls in tow! I must be dreaming. Pinch me – OW. I said pinch, not kick."

"Same thing," Sango scowled as she strode through the door to catch up to the other two girls who had peacefully wandered in without any harassment from the lecherous man. "Why can't you bother them for five seconds? No offense guys," she said to Kagome and Kagura.

"No problem," said Kagura. Kagome just shrugged it off.

"Well, my dear Sango their faces don't turn as pink as yours does," Miroku responded with a grin.

"I do not blush!"

"You do! In fact, you are right now," Miroku earnestly informed her.

"Go die!"

"What time was arranged?" Sesshoumaru intoned from the doorway. Miroku and Sango stopped bickering and turned to look at the tall man. "What time was arranged for them to pass you information and such?"

Kagome and Kagura, who had been examining the little porcelain collection on the shelf, turned to Miroku for the answer as well.

"Uh… you know, that's funny. I'm not actually sure…haha?" Miroku laughed weakly while scratching his head.

"I feel like murdering someone," Kagura snapped. "This is such a waste of time."

"Maybe… whoever we're expecting will come soon?" Kagome asked, turning to them hopefully.

Miroku nodded, smiling. "Yes yes, but until then take a seat and make yourselves comfortable.

* * *

"My ass hurts." 

"Then you should get up and walk around. Sitting down for such a long period of time will do that," Sesshoumaru informed Kagura.

"Well, maybe I like it when my butt hurts," she snapped back.

"Then don't complain."

Miroku, Sango, and Kagome were careful not to say anything. After the first two hours of waiting and chatting casually with Sango and Kagome, Kagura's mood had suddenly turned sour. After the fourth hour, something seemed to snap inside Kagura and no one felt safe to sit next to her. She was currently laying on the sofa with her body stretched over it. Sesshoumaru was sitting a wooden chair, which he got up from occasionally to stroll around. Kagome and Sango were sitting in the loveseat, and Miroku himself had sat in a wooden chair.

But Kagura, she… was not patient.

Not patient at all.

"When is that motherfucking asshole going to send us anything? I mean, we're all going out of our fucking way to do something for this shithead we don't even know. What the fuck is his problem?! Or her problem! Whatever. If it's a girl I'm going to rip all her hair off. I fucking swear, those high and mighty dickheads. They're going to fucking pay for making me – "

"Your incessant use of profanity is harsh on the ears."

It also seemed that Sesshoumaru was tiring of Kagura's nonstop rant about the person or people who had yet to show up.

And so, the room was very uncomfortable to be in. Miroku felt this to be the longest six hours of his life.

"It's supposed to be harsh on the ears you idiot. It's PROFANITY," Kagura exclaimed. She put an emphasis on the last word, turning her head to glare at Sesshoumaru.

Sesshoumaru chose not to respond and instead turned his head away. Kagura scowled but didn't respond. She did however, sit up and bow her head over a bit, as though she were tired.

"Are you guys hungry?" he asked after that moment of silence.

"I'd love food!" Kagome exclaimed, happy that something not full of profanity was being spoken. "But… shouldn't we stay here?"

"Why don't we order take-out," Sango suggested.

"Brilliant brilliant!" Miroku cheered, getting up. "I'll just go get the – "

The moment Miroku stood up, Sesshoumaru and Kagura did as well. Miroku opened his mouth in wonder, but did not say anything when he saw the faces of the two. Sango and Kagome did likewise, and just watched carefully.

Sesshoumaru's face was still a stony wall, yet something was different. It was as though there was this masked fury within him, and he was very very dangerous. His whole body was stiff, and he seemed five feet taller than he actually was. Kagura's face showed what Sesshoumaru's did not. She was scowling, and every single part of her face screamed anger, vengeance, and all things evil.

"What's… wrong?" Sango whispered quietly.

"Naraku. I _smell_ him," hissed Kagura.

No one moved. Kagura quickly and silently walked towards the front door. Sango did likewise. Sesshoumaru shifted himself so that Kagome and Miroku were behind him.

Miroku noticed that Sango was holding weapons in both of her hands. They were small, shiny, and looked very wicked. Sesshoumaru's nails had lengthened, and although Miroku could not see his face, he would bet that Sesshoumaru's eyes had a tinge of red, if it were not completely red.

Miroku had no idea who Naraku was – but by the sight of the room, it seemed he was someone to fear. And to fight.

A few moments later they heard faint, muffled footsteps nearing them. Not soon after, the footsteps stopped at the door and a knock came on the door. Kagura responded. "Who is it?" Despite her posture, the anger on her face, Kagura's voice was calm, curious. It was normal. Her voice did not reflect the way her hands were gripped so tightly that her knuckles had lost all color.

"Are the five of you in there?" a muffled voice asked. It was a deep, powerful voice. Kagura, for some reason unknown to them, did not respond.

"Yes," Kagome called from the back. "What is it you want?"

"I've been sent to retrieve you. You don't have to take such defensive postures – I'm only one man," the voice chuckled from behind the door.

"Only one youkai, you mean," hissed Kagura. "I know you."

"Kagura stop being so scary. It's not going to work on me. I've known you too long and seen it too many times. Now, make my job easier and open the door so I can take you to where you need to be," the voice responded. The youkai did not sound angry, only bored and tired – as if the whole situation was below him.

"Is it… Naraku?" Kagome whispered.

Sesshoumaru shook his head once, but Kagome got the message. "Should we… go then?" she whispered after a few more moments, since no one else had moved or spoken.

"I think that would be a fine idea," Miroku said. "Don't you want to find out what this is all about?"

"I'd rather not, if it concerns that piece of shit outside," Kagura hissed, the anger dripping from her voice. Miroku made a mental note to never ever anger Kagura again.

"I think… we should, actually," Sango added, her weapons already hidden and returned to the place she kept them.

"It is not as though we will be unable to take down that wolf if he does anything dishonorable," said Sesshoumaru.

Kagura scowled. "Majority rule," she ground out before violently swinging the door open, and punching the man in the doorway.

"Oh fuck you bitch!"

"Likewise."

After a moment, the youkai standing in front of the doorway removed his hand from his face, and scowled at her. He had long black hair tied up in a ponytail, and was wearing a brown T-shirt with jeans. His ears were pointy, and when his mouth opened, you could see his fangs.

"Your appearance kind of disappoints me," Miroku noted. The youkai raised an eyebrow.

"And why is that?"

"I would've figured you would have like, sixteen piercings and perhaps a tattoo or two."

"I apologize for looking normal," the youkai responded sarcastically.

Kagome giggled and the tension lessened.

* * *

On the way to wherever they were going, the youkai introduced himself as Kouga. They were being taken in a rather nice limo. 

"He's not very… subtle, is he?" Kagome asked. Kouga seemed to take a liking to the girl, as she seemed very honest.

"He? Why would you say he?"

"Because it's Naraku, isn't it?" Kagura snapped.

"Assuming things again are we Kagura?" Kouga replied coolly. Kagura had refused to sit anywhere near the wolf, and so the seating arrangement ended up as Kouga, Kagome, and Sango sitting on one side while Miroku, Sesshoumaru, and Kagura sat on the other.

Miroku thought it was funny how although she seemed to hate Sesshoumaru, she hated Kouga a lot more. It wasn't really funny, but it kind of was.

"What are you thinking about?" Sesshoumaru asked him. Miroku turned to face Sesshoumaru with a goofy grin on his face. The deadpan expression the doctor was wearing did not faze him in the least.

"What? Why do you ask?"

"You are wearing an incredibly disgruntled expression."

"Oh okay, I'll stop that then."

"It's not Naraku who sent me," Kouga spoke, after the two had finished their short conversation.

"Then… who?" Kagome questioned him.

"Kikyou."

"I don't know who that is, do you?" Miroku asked the others.

"No, but whatever. Why do you smell like Naraku you LIAR?"

"You always accuse me of things I didn't do."

"You're lying aren't you?"

The limo riders turned to Kagome. She continued. "You're lying right?"

Kouga smiled at her and shook his head. "No I'm not, it's Kikyou who sent me. She'll explain everything to you. I'm just the escort."

"If you aren't lying, then you're not telling the whole truth then," Kagome nodded as though she understood something the others did not. Kouga opened his mouth to protest, but Kagome shook her head and smiled sadly. "Does it have anything to do with…" Kagome paused, aware that everyone's attention was on her. She blushed. "Don't look at me like that!"

"Do with what? What does this have to do with what?!" Kagura growled. "Finish your god damn sentence!"

Kagome shifted so she faced Kouga more fully. "Does this have anything to do with Mahoudoku?"

Kouga stared at her.

"Does it?" Kagome's eyes searched his face. Her voice was trembling and the youkai within the car could smell her anger as well as her fear.

Kouga opened his mouth and hesitated, as though he did not want to answer.

"Answer her!" Sango had reached over Kagome and held a sharp knife under Kouga's chin. "Answer her," she spoke vehemently.

Kouga stared at Kagome. He said nothing about the dagger pressed to his neck, but he did lean back slightly so he could speak without his throat hitting the blade. "If I tell you, will you tell Kikyou how you know about it?"

"No, I won't."

"I will," Sango gritted her teeth and stared at Kouga. "My brother."

Kouga gave Sango a long, hard stare. He sighed.

"Yes, it has everything to do with the Mahoudoku."

"What is the Mahoudoku?" Miroku asked.

"Kikyou will tell you."

He paused and looked outside, "We're here," Kouga said, pointing out past Sesshoumaru's shoulder. They all looked to where he pointed. It was a normal looking house, complete with a barking dog in the fenced garden.

"That's where your answer is," said Kouga.

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AN: lots of cussing in this chapter because i felt the story just wasn't living up to the M rating i put it under. haha.. maybe i should change that. do you guys think i should? tell me if you think i should change the rating please : or if i should keep it. feedback is lovely. 

anyway, i LOVED THE REVIEWS. thank you all so much : i'm on a quest to finish all the stories i can before i graduate from high school. wish me luck. hehe... anyway this chapter is a little shorter than usual. but it was either going to be a little shorter or WAY longer. i chose shorter. lazy mee. haha. thanks for reading :


	8. The Idiot

AN: I just want to apologize for taking so long to update. Also, I just want you guys to know that my writing has changed a little. I'm not really sure how much, but I'm sure it has changed. So, sorry for an inconsistencies in style. Forgive me! Enjoy and review! :3

Also, I skimmed over the previous chapters and I just wanted to rip them off of the Internet. Please excuse my horrible style and uwahh - I cannot go on about the errors that continue to mock me. I might rewrite them, with severe editing... though that isn't likely. So sorry!

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They all piled out of the car, and stood on the sidewalk. It was a quaint little area - the garden in particular was _cute_. Miroku had this voice in the back of his mind suggest scenarios in which all of them were violated in so many ways. He had been about to mention this very fact aloud, but was stopped when Sesshoumaru suddenly started moving forward.

He had not even bothered to open the little latch for the white picket fence - rather, the white-haired youkai jumped over it. He headed straight for the door and it seemed that Miroku had only blinked to find that Sesshoumaru was gone from view.

"Uhh, you think he had to go to the bathroom real bad or something?"

**Makeshift Superheroes**

**Chapter Seven**

**The Idiot**

Before any of the others could make an inane remark to Miroku's comment (which Kagura was going to do - she was ready with her mouth open), there came loud yells from within the house. Kouga seemed to realize something, go _oh shit_ inside his head, and ran forward, leaping over the fence in a similar fashion to Sesshoumaru. But it was too late.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU - "

Something big, white, and loud was tossed from the house and cursed as it sailed over their heads, straight into the path of an oncoming car. The driver of the purple van slammed on their brakes, causing a painful squealing noise that made Kagura want to rip the insides of someone out.

After the car had stopped moving, they could see the body of something with long white fur laying unmoving in the middle of the road. The whole group turned to the door, only to see Sesshoumaru standing there, flexing his fingers.

"Come inside," he informed them before turning, not really caring if they followed him in or not. Kouga had landed in a bed of flowers that looked like daisies or something and was staring, looking absolutely stunned. Then he burst out laughing.

Kagura seemed to dismiss the incident and turned towards the house, walking through the fence properly by unlatching the little gate. Sango made a step forward to the car, which was just... there. She stopped when a middle-aged woman stepped out of it, freaking out.

Kagome just watched with wide eyes. "...is that a dog?" She didn't like it when animals got hurt.

As Miroku and Sango turned to give her looks of confusion, the middle-aged woman screamed. The trio turned their head sin time to see the white lumpy mess on the street jump up to a standing position while groaning. "Stop laughing you fucker!" he shouted derisively at the house. Well - to be more direct, it seemed to be a comment towards Kouga, who was still chuckling away.

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The five of them were situated in the living room. Sesshoumaru seemed to refuse to sit down and instead stood against the wall, watching the clock with disinterest. Kouga mirrored his position on an opposing wall. The three girls fit on the couch and Miroku himself took up the matching chair next to them. The room matched - it really, _really_ matched. The color scheme was aesthetically pleasing and it made Miroku sick. No one had a perfect house like that.

It felt too fake.

What made the place less distorting was the white-haired male who was currently cussing and scowling like his life depended on it. The woman stabbing his scratches with medicine on a cotton patch seemed none too happy in her position either. Her scowl matched his. After a few more pokes with the medicine, the male seemed to have enough of it. "It'll heal by itself!" he snapped, snatching his arm away from the vicious cotton-patch stabber.

Frankly, Miroku was a little surprised that the woman was even tending to the male. The age was yet to be determined, since the mop of hair he had on his head prevented any facial features from being seen really. "You should go and make yourself more presentable then," the woman retorted. Her voice was familiar, oddly familiar... The messy looking man got up and stumbled out of the room, grumbling to himself. Sesshoumaru followed him. The woman did not mention anything and Kouga didn't either. Miroku felt it best to follow suit.

"Where's that idiot going?" Kagura muttered to herself, most likely unaware that she had spoken loud enough that everyone in the room heard her. Well, no. Scratch that. She probably knew. She probably just didn't give a damn. The woman sitting on the couch opposing them cleared her throat. And Miroku was hit with an epiphany.

"Hey, you're the voice on the disc!" Miroku pointed out with enthusiasm. The woman nodded. Now that she wasn't wearing a mask, Miroku could take a good long look at her. She wasn't ugly at all, which had been one of his amusing assumptions as to why she had worn a mask. With long straight black hair and rich brown eyes, the woman was actually quite stunning.

"My name is Kikyou. I'm here to tell you what to do next," she paused, assuring herself that she had their full attention. When it seemed that there were no wandering eyes, she continued. "You each have a specialty that no other person has, and while you may not realize it, we do. We will need to use those skills, and we will need your full cooperation."

Miroku didn't really know what to say. It seemed as though there were so much more that needed to be said, but unfortunately Kikyou had stopped talking. He glanced over at Kagura, who had a troubled expression on her face.

"What do you want from us?" A bit startled by the fact that Sango had spoken, Miroku turned and gazed at Sango with a sort of admirable look. Sango, feeling the intensity of his stare, turned and shot him a withering glare.

"I need you to agree to help us first," Kikyou replied, her voice even. She had a very authoritative posture, and didn't seem likely to break down and give in to any demands of any sort.

"What will we get out of this? Are you going to tell me where Kanna is?" Kagura blurted out, unable to hold in her question anymore. "Because, I'll be fucking damned if I do something for you and get ripped off as a result. Are we working for you? Or who else? I'm sure Naraku's somewhere behind this whole damned mess."

"You'll get what you get out of this. I cannot reveal anything to you unless you agree," she stated plainly. If Naraku was indeed somewhere behind the whole damned mess, Kikyou gave no reaction to that certain remark. However, she did stand up. "Now, please excuse me for a moment."

With that, Kikyou walked out and headed in the same general direction that Sesshoumaru had gone. After a few seconds, Kouga giggled. It was a little unnerving.

"What are you laughing about like a pansy for, you overgrown animal?" Kagura snapped, irked that she hadn't gotten any answers.

"Why don't you just shut up and listen?" was his witty retort. Still smirking, Kouga made his way and sat down on the couch that was empty. Kagura just rolled her eyes.

"I'm not a fan of eavesdropping - besides, they're not saying anything useful."

The room was silent, with Kouga grinning like an idiot and Kagura scowling like a woman scorned. Sango kept still, which Miroku thought was nothing unusual. However, he himself was getting a bit antsy. And it seemed as though Kagome was extremely uncomfortable. It didn't seem as though it had anything to do with the fact that she was sitting between someone who killed people for a living and someone who seemed to kill people for fun.

"...what are we doing here?"

Everyone in the room turned to look at Kagome, who went a little pink from all the sudden attention. "What do you mean?" Kouga asked, his eyes looking at Kagome in a way that Miroku felt was a little too inappropriate for the situation. And that was saying a lot.

"Well, what I mean is we've come all this way and yeah, I know it's not _that_ much, but it is to me and I just don't know what we're doing right now. As long as you're not going to have us all go and shoot someone in the head - no offense Sango - then I don't see what the need is for all this weird stuff. You should just tell us straight up and see if we'll help you," Kagome blabbered on, looking as though she regretted speaking up with each passing moment. She paused, looking as though she stopped only because she ran out of breath, and added one last sentiment. "Because if we're not going to do anything, I have to go back to my life."

"As a stripper? As someone who gets no respect in what she does?" Kikyou's voice popped up from behind the wall as she strode back into the room, Sesshoumaru and a strange boy who looked kind of like Sesshoumaru. Kagura stared at the kid, her face a look of twisted amusement.

"As a person who does what she needs to get by," Kagome responded, her voice drenched in embarrassment and anger. It seemed as though Kikyou's words really got to her. "Besides, I'm sorry but the longer we've been talking about this, the more nothing makes sense to me. I don't have any specialties. I'm a seventeen-year-old who ran away from home and works at a really shady strip club! You can just go and pick up any slut off the street and get the same thing, only with more experience."

Kagome ran out of breath. Sango and Kagura were looking at her with a look of astonishment and admiration. In fact, Miroku was as well. He hadn't taken her to be such an outspoken girl. She had more guts than he had assumed.

"If you want to know why you got picked, just as him," Kikyou gestured with a hand to the boy. "He's the one who organized most of this, and he specifically picked _you_. Why don't you ask him?"

Kagome turned to do just that, and Miroku looked at the guy again. He had cleaned up rather well, and had the same golden eyes Sesshoumaru had. He had the same silvery-white hair that Sesshoumaru had. Only, his ears didn't look so pointy. In fact, they didn't even look human. _No wonder Kagome wondered if it was a dog..._

The guy just screamed '_I'M A HANYOU!!' _all over the place. He scowled when he realized everyone's attention was on him. And then his face got all red. "Oh, stuff it Kikyou," he muttered angrily as he stomped his way to slump down on the couch. Miroku noticed he sat as far away from Kouga as possible.

"Hey, is that your son?" Kagura asked, a grin on her face. Sesshoumaru just stared at her.

"I'm Inuyasha," the boy with the dog ears growled out. "I'm his half-brother. And yeah, I picked you guys. Whatever. Kikyou did tell you that you each have crap that we need to use and stuff right? So, you're helping us."

"Well, you're quite the persuasive one," Miroku commented. "Might I ask if we will be compensated for our work? The fake check didn't go over too swell with us."Sango snorted, but when Miroku shot a look at her, she was staring straight ahead with interest at the wallpaper.

"Oh yeah, that," was all Inuyasha said. He cracked a grin and laughed a bit. "That was fun to do," he started but Kikyou coughed and he changed what he was going to say, "But... ah, but you will be paid. A lot. A lot. They'll be dishing out dough to you okay?"

Sango shook her head. "I want to know about the Mahoudoku."

"Me too," seconded Kagome.

"Hell, I'll do it for the money," Miroku said.

Inuyasha nodded, "Easily done." He turned to Kagura with an expectant expression. She stared back, unimpressed. Miroku had to admit, Kagura had guts. Or at least was completely insane with a disregard for others. Either way, it worked for her.

"I'll do this if you can promise me it'll get me closer to Kanna," she stated plainly, her face fierce and determined. Inuyasha didn't respond.

But Kikyou did. "I can promise you that if you agree, you'll even get to _see_ her."

There was a look on Inuyasha's face that Miroku didn't like. But what the hey, he'd only known the man for no more than an hour. Maybe that's the way his face normally looked. With Kikyou's response, Kagura nodded once. "But, what about him?" she asked bluntly, pointing rudely in the direction of Sesshoumaru.

"You know, do I still owe you a favor for this?" Miroku cut in before the youkai could respond. He also wanted to ask why he even bothered to continue with this crazy affair if he'd already gotten what he wanted out of it, seeing as Inuyasha was sitting right there.

"What favor?" Kikyou asked, looking at the youkai.

Sesshoumaru just stared at them. "I've already agreed. We shouldn't waste any time doing this. Let's get the details discussed." Miroku felt it was a subject that shouldn't be pushed. Yeah.

Kikyou nodded. "The information you will get shall be the same, but we're going to have to go into details about your specifics in separate groups because some of it's unnecessary for your tasks. You'll be working as a group, but to save time we'll be going into different rooms. Kagome, Miroku, Kagura - if you would be so kind as to follow Kouga downstairs. Sango, Sesshoumaru - please follow me."

It was then they parted ways.

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AN: I hope you liked it! I will try to get another update sometime this week.

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